Mastering My Fears: My Heart Takes Wing…..

“Two roads diverged in a wood and I- I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”  ~Robert Frost




I have learned quite a lot about FEAR (False Evidence Appearing Real) in the past month. My inner critic committee has surfaced in which I have made some decisions that I am not proud of….. However, I am so strong in my faith as it grows every day and I am fiercely committed to walking my talk, so I have been able to admit my weaknesses and step up to the plate! I am also committed to being fiercely honest with myself!! Thank God! Thank you to all of my friends who have helped me and believe in me!!! You are awesome!

Jana Stanfield’s song below starts with the lyrics “What would I do Today, If I knew that I could not fail…” what a beautiful message. If we could see that every experience, even the not so good ones, are not a failure but are there to evolve our soul then we would never react out of FEAR. It is the unknown that scares us and if we could just breathe into it and know that all is well, then we would not react.

I was recently in a Northern Wisconsin town trying to trust the mystery as new opportunities were opening up. How did I feel? Vulnerable. Yep, very vulnerable!

Why? I was taking a risk and putting my authentic self out there among those I do not know and others whom I have only known for a couple of months. As I talked to a new friend the other night whom I greatly appreciate and respect, I had to consciously refrain from putting a mask on. It can be down right scary to let people in to know the real me, to meet my soul at its core.

We fear being hurt because we’ve all been hurt many times in our lives by family, friends, lovers, and others.   We took a risk and opened our hearts because we wanted to love and be loved and it doesn’t always work out the way we want it to, right? So we learned to stuff the pain.   And guess what? It gets lodged in our body’s energy field creating blockages, which affects the emotions. Believe me, when I say anyone within our energy field can and will feel our emotions no matter what mask we are hiding behind!!  The more we experience heartaches, the more we stuff pain deep within, and the wackier our emotional state. Sound familiar???

For some of us, we are able to process heartaches, traumas and old wounds, whether through counseling, self-help techniques, spiritual beliefs, or support groups. Many people, however, construct a wall around their heart. I know I did. I did not realize I was doing this, but over time I became distrusting, doubtful which resulted in plenty of negative emotions like fear, hurt, anxiety, and more.

Worse, we try to take the edge off or numb the painful emotions by turning to temporary bandaid fixes such as drinking, anxiety pills or other drugs, working a bajillion hours, smoking, sex, overeating, chronic shopping, and gambling.   Yep, addiction is an epidemic in our society because we so hate feeling pain. We have become a society addicted to suffering.  Some of these addictions lead to death. I lost two sisters in the last 4 years (one being my identical twin), because they wanted so badly to numb the pain.

In the past year, I was struggling emotionally after losing my soulmate. How could I ever love again? How could I keep my heart open? It was hell on earth for a while internally and I wanted to drink to numb my pain. I now understood what my sisters had gone through as they drowned their sorrows in a bottle, but I had reached out and my soul was evolving….. I wanted to BE ME….my authentic self. This would not be easy as I would have to be open, honest and um, the most vulnerable I’d ever been. In fact, the only reason I didn’t drown in a bottle was because somehow I knew that if I used alcohol or food or sex to cope, I would never find true happiness or love. I would never discover my true purpose and my dreams would die. Dammit I deserved so much more! I wanted more than anything to get through the ‘dark night of the soul’ into the light and experience authentic happiness!

It is when we can make a commitment (a real commitment) to stop running, numbing, and self-medicating our pain that we can begin a journey toward healing, freedom, authenticity and feeling real love and happiness.

Most importantly, I knew deep in my soul that my purpose was to be a light for others much like the lighthouse illuminates the way to guide ships on their journey. It is not for me to choose or judge the path that others take. We are each on our own individual path, making our own music, choosing our own experiences. On my path, there have been several Lighthouses shining brightly, allowing me to see with clarity what my choices are and which direction is the better choice for me. As a Lightworker, mentor and teacher, I so resonate with the symbol of a lighthouse. Not because I have been “spared the rod”, but because I have walked or crawled through my fears and explored healing my issues despite my inner critic committee, my deep resistance and my Great wall!!! Um, did I mention it was hell on earth for a while???

As the Robert Frost quote goes, “I have chosen the path less traveled…” I am doing some deep soul searching and realigning, as I am in the process of figuring out what I really want in my extraordinary, authentic life. This is my inner journey to my soul. I am learning to listen to my heart, my intuition. I am learning to trust the mystery and God. I am being reminded of the old patterns in my life that don’t work and need to be let go of.   There are still uncomfortable circumstances that are still occurring to light up those areas in my life that I need to love and heal. I feel as I accept myself (all of me not just the good) and love me for who I am, the more I can connect with people especially women and help them. Do I feel vulnerable?? Um, yep and at times it is very uncomfortable as I want to just melt into the floor out of existence, but very rewarding as I continue the journey.

This journey takes every ounce of courage and strength I can muster!!! I pray every day and every night….. When I had doubts about writing my book, a close friend said, “It is something beyond our capacity to understand. I feel this. Life, destiny chooses us. Move forward. Ask only for courage and strength. You will reap many rewards”.  Thank you for believing in me.

This is a very sacred time for me as I am being aligned with my higher purpose or calling, which is ultimately to be AUTHENTICALLY ME while mentoring women and finding peace, love and happiness! I realize that I am different as I have a strong spirit (okay, intense energy and passion), and it is what makes me special and unique. I am driven and it is none of my business what other people think about me. I realize that those who love me really GET ME, and accept me for who and what I am (all of me!).

As Dominica Applegate wrote, “I feel like I had a “Saul to Paul” experience.  From deep, deep darkness to the brightest of light! I guarantee it wasn’t easy, but the journey is so worth it”.

I had to peel my layers these past few months filtering through the muck, the facades, and the lies to get to the real me. I had to break down a wall that felt like the Great Wall of China surrounding my heart and face my greatest fears! You know, rejection, abandonment and um, the uncertainty.  Fear of the unknown….sound familiar?

I found a couple of close friends whom I deeply trust to talk to who have helped me on this journey. Yes, it scared the s*&@ out of me more than once. At the same time,  one of my close friends reintroduced to me to God.  For that, I am forever grateful!!!  As my spiritual growth has evolved, so has my willingness to expose myself emotionally and become vulnerable. This has been one of the most empowering journeys as I emerge authentically…the real me.  No masks, no lies, no facades, no blame, no shame, and no games!

The Butterfly is an inspiring symbol of change, creativity, freedom and joy. It is a powerful symbol of transforming, and shape shifting the soul.  Butterflies leave the safety of their cocoon and their limitations, to discover a new garden without fear, trusting their wings and flying free!

As my soul evolves and the butterfly emerges, I shed my limiting thoughts and beliefs and, um, those habits that no longer serve me.  I spend a great deal of time meditating, praying, exercising, connecting to nature (very important) and practicing self-care. I spend quality time with close friends who love me and get me.   As Spring continues here in Wisconsin, I am reminded that just like cultivating seedlings for the garden, I must cultivate love, peace and happiness in my garden by going within and tilling my soul!

“I can feel a change is coming, I can feel it in my skin.  I can feel myself outgrowing, This life I’ve been living in And I’m afraid, afraid of change,
Butterfly, please tell me again, I’m gonna be all right……And my heart takes wing.” ~Jana Stanfield, Little Butterfly


Please comment below on your own soul journey!  🙂


Why Cleanse

Written by Yuri Elkaim, BPHE, CK, RHN & Amy Coates, RHN, BSc.

We detoxify and cleanse for health, vitality, and rejuvenation. We cleanse our body to clear symptoms, treat disease, and prevent future problems. A cleansing program is an ideal way to help you re-evaluate your life, make changes, or clear abuses and addictions. Withdrawal happens fairly quickly, and as cravings are reduced you can begin a new life without old addictive habits or drugs. Detoxification is also helpful for weight loss, although this is not the primary purpose. The body stores toxins in fat cells. When you cleanse your body these toxins are more easily released from their fat stores. Since you then become less toxic, your toxin stores (the fat) are not as necessary and, thus, your body can rid itself of excess, unnecessary fat. Weight loss also occurs on a cleanse simply because there are fewer calories being consumed. Since weight loss boils down to creating a caloric deficit, eating less overtime is a simple way of losing weight. We also detoxify and cleanse to rest and heal our overloaded digestive organs. This is often an overlooked, yet very important, area considering optimal health truly begins with the health of our digestive system. Aside from the internal health benefits, detoxification can also be a great catalyst for external change. For instance, it can provide a great opportunity to reflect and re-evaluate what's most important to you. It can serve to help you cleanse your house, your work, your relationships. After a cleanse, you will even feel more organized, more creative, more motivated, more productive, more relaxed, and more mentally focused and clear. So, if you want more energy, greater vitality, more youthful and radiant skin, and greater health for life, then cleansing should be a regular (annual or semi-annual) part of your life. Yuri Elkaim is a renowned fitness, nutrition, and weight loss expert. He is a registered holistic nutritionist and the co-creator of the Total Wellness Cleanse - a 30-day food-based cleansing program that has helped thousands of people lose weight, cleanse their bodies of toxic overload, and restore incredible health. For information on the Total Wellness Cleanse visit

How to Release Stress and Lose Weight in 1 Hour a Day!

This is a quick video from Tempe, Arizona on releasing stress in just one hour a day!  Also, a great side benefit is toning and losing weight.  Watch the video to learn how I deal with stress and tone the body.

Relationships and Our Story

Relationships are where two souls come together for a period of time and we get to witness for each other the good and the shadows.  Sometimes we are in each other’s lives forever, and sometimes for only a short period of time.

You are living the life that parents, media, peers and friends have taught you to live.  We drown out our own inner voice and guidance.  Before entering a relationship, hopefully we know the answers to the following questions:  What do you like, believe in and want in life? What do you value most?  What are your top 5 core values?

Once we know who we really are, we can build a life around our values.  We can establish rituals, structure and practices (habits) to remember who we are on a daily basis.

This is so important as relationships will reveal our shadows showing us the places inside that still need our love, acceptance and healing.  We can choose to “stuff” them or hide them but they will appear at the most inappropriate times.  Remember it is our stories that we want to get out of.

If you feel the need to explain, justify, and be right you are in your story.  You are giving power to your story especially when fears show up like the fear of rejection or abandonment.  When you are in the “fight or flight” syndrome, your energy will be sucked away to support the emotional drama.  Everything else in our lives including our health, work, friendships, and ordinary tasks like paying bills will suffer at the expense of supporting the emotional drama.

So, are you willing to release your story?  Are you willing to practice forgiveness?  It is a journey that is the key to moving beyond the past and transforming your life.  It is about letting go of anger and resentment.  It is about being willing to accept our humanness but at the same time taking responsibility for making amends if we have hurt someone.

Don Miguel Ruiz reminds us in “The Four Agreements” to not take anything personal.  Most people do not intentionally cause hurt, as it is their subconscious programming and their own story.  All we can control is our reaction to their behavior.   This book reminds us that we can change our story and fill it with happiness and greater authenticity.

What are your daily habits that sustain you?  They create your consciousness and your behaviors.  What you repeat you become so create good habits.

Here are some things you can do to remember who you are in a relationship and create a happier, more authentic life.

  •  Meditation
  •  Yoga
  • Connecting to nature
  • Follow the four agreements
  • Practice forgiveness
  • Eat well and hydrate (drink lots of water)
  • Get plenty of sleep
  • Cultivate healthy friendships

Relationships are complex with our expectations and incompatibilities.  We become what we repeat, so start by creating one good habit today.  Once you feel you have mastered it, add a new one.  It is easier than you think and you will have more happiness and peace!

Please comment below. I would love to hear about your experiences. For more tips on living a stress free life, clean eating or relationships sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above.


How to Find Happiness

We are traveling at the ‘Speed of Life’ which seems to be getting faster and faster.  This reminds me of the speed limits that continue to increase from 55mph years ago to 80 mph on the highway now in some states!  Wow.  I find that when I travel faster on the highway to life, I do not enjoy it and many things are not done well. 

I go to work, meetings, grocery shop, cook meals and attend to everyone else’s needs first.  Sound familiar? 

I feel stuck and I am unhappy. I hear this over and over again from my clients who don’t take care of themselves first.  Then their energy currency runs out!  So here are a few tips you can do each day to live a happier life and have more energy to give to yourself and your relationships!

  1.  Follow your heart.  What do you love to do?  If you love to spend time with friends then invite them over or go out to eat together.  I love to garden, walk and play with my dog, hike in nature, and eat dinner with friends. 

Implement one thing each day that you love to do even if it is only 15 minutes. Do what you really love and have fun!

2.  Do one thing every day that scares you.  This does not mean watch horror movies or sky dive today. Too often we get “comfortable” and complacent in life which leads to a mediocre life. 

Spice it up.  If you have never gone out to dinner by yourself, treat yourself. Take a trip on your own.

 Smile at strangers and meet new people and strike up a conversation.  Go ahead and talk to that cute guy you have wanted to get to know.  Take up dancing

Get out of your comfort zone!  You will be amazed at how much confidence you will gain and how good you feel.

3.  Focus on what you want.  Too often we get caught up in focusing on “what is bad”.  Do you watch the news every night and morning?  Most of it is focused on the negative.  What music do you listen to or what tv shows do you watch?  

Most importantly, are the top 5 people you hang with positive or negative?  Do they really support you? 

There is a saying that “Energy Goes where Attention Goes “.  Place your Attention on the positive and what you want in life!

4.  Let go of the attachment to the Expectations and the Outcome.   When we have expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointments.  Have you ever noticed that many things don’t go the way you expected?  This is really bad when you have expectations in a relationship that you and your partner have never talked about!

Expectations come from our judgments, which come from our thoughts. 

Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change”.  Look at things differently by releasing the fear and looking for love. 

Realize that you have no control over external situations or people. 

 You can only control how you react.  Happiness is a choice!  Choose it.

Please comment below.  I would love to hear what you do each day to find happiness.  For more tips on living a stress free life, sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above. 

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