Soul Forgiveness: Mastering Your Fears of the Past

“Woundmates are not to be confused with soulmates, which can also trigger shadowy material to the surface of consciousness, but are sourced in a more promising and fertile wellspring, one that fosters real growth and progress. Soulmates are drawn to one another by a call to essence. At the heart of their connection is the opportunity to grow in karmic stature, while woundmates often just flounder in the mud, trigger after trigger, downward spiral after downward spiral, attached at the waste.” ~Jeff Brown, An Uncommon Bond

It is the July 4th as I received a call from a close friend of mine who needed to talk.  I have known him for more than 15 years.  We are able to talk about anything and have been known to sit up half the night with a glass of wine solving relationship problems of the world!  He has three beautiful grown daughters and now has beautiful grandchildren.  He has been married twice and has had a number of relationships that have not worked out for him.

He started off with “I have done it again.”  He explained he met an amazing woman and they connected intellectually, emotionally, spiritually and physically.  For the first time he was with a happy, confident, authentic and loving woman.  She was his equal, his soul mate.  He knows that she is the partner who would create an incredible life with him.

He then said “the intensity of emotions drove me crazy even though I was a part of it.  It felt like my personal hell and I could not bear to see her hurt.  She wanted to calm the emotional roller coaster but we both had difficulty getting off”.

Sometimes the fear that the extraordinary relationship will create so much power that men don’t know how to handle it.  What if it is too far outside of the comfort zone?  What if it fails and causes a level of pain never felt before?  It also brings about fear of not deserving something this good or not having earned it because of our past mistakes.  What if someone else swept her away?

“She saw my soul and touched my heart like no other.  It was easier not to go there.  I am now with a woman whose business just failed and she has two kids.  I guess I am just comfortable with rescuing that type of woman.”

“Ah, it is returning to the comfort of the old shoe.  We have all done this many times.  However, as we continue our journey the old shoe will no longer fit and this will create relationship problems for us,” I replied.  He agreed.

If we can Be with each other and expect nothing but to be together, then we can enjoy our time together.  Just enjoy the friendship without expectations.  We can continue to grow and expand and share our wisdom with one another. If it is not meant to be then we just have to let it be.  Stand in the light of just being and trust that God will heal it or bring someone else in.

It is wonderful to be given the gift of feeling loved and letting you know that do DESERVE that kind of love.  He agreed and told me that he knew the woman he was with now was not the right one.  He was also feeling the pain of having let the best one slip away.  I asked him if he knew for sure that she was gone forever.

“No, I don’t.  I have not made any attempt to contact her.”  I laughed.  We should never assume anything.  Too often we judge, assume and take things personal.  Make the contact, communicate and see what happens.  Follow your heart.  Try the new shoe, get a few blisters and you will find you really like the love those shoes!!

Feel free to leave a comment below as I would love to hear from you!


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