Romantic Relationships that Prepare Us for True Love

Our “in the meantime relationships” before meeting our true love actually prepares us for that right relationship. In these relationships our stories are mirrored to us, as every person that stands before us is our mirror.

These relationships that are preparing us cause us to question everything, especially ourselves. We ask why, what could I have done differently and we continue to “beat ourselves up”. Instead, we could look inward and ask:

What have I learned about myself?

What is the lesson or gold nugget that I am taking away from this experience?

Every relationship gives us the opportunity to do our soul work. The purpose of this journey is not to find someone to complete us, but to discover ourselves. I know that with each of my relationships I have more understanding, depth, authenticity and honesty.   I am willing to look at my shadow parts with love and acceptance.

For me life is a journey where I am always growing, transforming, shedding my fears and weaknesses. I know that if I devote my heart to discovering what I am here to learn, I can be my own best friend and love myself.

It is that self-love that allows me to come to my relationships in a healthy place with so much more to give. It allows me to be with my best friend not attached or dependent on this person.

There are no fears and there is no jealousy, no doubt, no guilt, no judgment—just being.

With each relationship we have the opportunity to grow and learn. We are also invited to keep our heart open to love while practicing forgiveness and compassion. Remember forgiveness is for us to release our fears and judgments.

This allows us to experience greater love each time until we meet the person who also has an open heart in which we can deeply connect with acceptance, love, compassion and authenticity.

Please comment below. I would love to hear about your experiences. For more tips on living a stress free life, clean eating or relationships sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above.

How to Find Happiness

We are traveling at the ‘Speed of Life’ which seems to be getting faster and faster.  This reminds me of the speed limits that continue to increase from 55mph years ago to 80 mph on the highway now in some states!  Wow.  I find that when I travel faster on the highway to life, I do not enjoy it and many things are not done well. 

I go to work, meetings, grocery shop, cook meals and attend to everyone else’s needs first.  Sound familiar? 

I feel stuck and I am unhappy. I hear this over and over again from my clients who don’t take care of themselves first.  Then their energy currency runs out!  So here are a few tips you can do each day to live a happier life and have more energy to give to yourself and your relationships!

  1.  Follow your heart.  What do you love to do?  If you love to spend time with friends then invite them over or go out to eat together.  I love to garden, walk and play with my dog, hike in nature, and eat dinner with friends. 

Implement one thing each day that you love to do even if it is only 15 minutes. Do what you really love and have fun!

2.  Do one thing every day that scares you.  This does not mean watch horror movies or sky dive today. Too often we get “comfortable” and complacent in life which leads to a mediocre life. 

Spice it up.  If you have never gone out to dinner by yourself, treat yourself. Take a trip on your own.

 Smile at strangers and meet new people and strike up a conversation.  Go ahead and talk to that cute guy you have wanted to get to know.  Take up dancing

Get out of your comfort zone!  You will be amazed at how much confidence you will gain and how good you feel.

3.  Focus on what you want.  Too often we get caught up in focusing on “what is bad”.  Do you watch the news every night and morning?  Most of it is focused on the negative.  What music do you listen to or what tv shows do you watch?  

Most importantly, are the top 5 people you hang with positive or negative?  Do they really support you? 

There is a saying that “Energy Goes where Attention Goes “.  Place your Attention on the positive and what you want in life!

4.  Let go of the attachment to the Expectations and the Outcome.   When we have expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointments.  Have you ever noticed that many things don’t go the way you expected?  This is really bad when you have expectations in a relationship that you and your partner have never talked about!

Expectations come from our judgments, which come from our thoughts. 

Wayne Dyer said, “Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change”.  Look at things differently by releasing the fear and looking for love. 

Realize that you have no control over external situations or people. 

 You can only control how you react.  Happiness is a choice!  Choose it.

Please comment below.  I would love to hear what you do each day to find happiness.  For more tips on living a stress free life, sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above. 

New Year + New Resolutions = New Me?

By Lauren Ebbecke ©2013

We reflect back on 2012 as the New Year begins and thus, we create our resolutions.  “I will quit smoking”, “I will lose weight”, “I will exercise 4-5 days a week”, “I will eat healthier”, “I will get more sleep”, “I will not work too much”, “I will meditate every day” and on the resolutions go.  We are enthusiastic and have good intentions to follow them and yet, many of us will fail.  In fact, the research shows that only 10% will be successful.

Why?  Because our resolutions do not deeply connect with our inner souls!  Many people equate resolutions with making a to do list that is short lived. If these resolutions do not align with our inner soul, then we won’t keep doing them.

Resolutions are like frosting on a cake.  They only address the superficial “want” without touching the heartfelt center.  Generally, we state something like I will DO exercise 5 times a week so I can have a thinner body and look good, and then I will BE confident.  It is a short term to do list.

To be more successful in creating lasting, positive changes in your is the BE-DO-HAVE model.  By looking at the model from a place of BE first, gives us a deeper meaning and answers the “why”.  This creates sustainable, lasting positive behaviors after the newness has worn off.

Try A NEW New Year’s Ritual

There are a number of alternative approaches to marking the beginning of the New Year. Here are a few:

So why not try a new ritual this year and choose a Word of the Year?   Be sure to set aside some quiet time perhaps with candles and soft lighting.  Mindfully sit with the questions in this guide and then answer them.  I usually schedule an hour or so without any interruptions.

Once you’ve chosen your word, be present with it in your heart and mind throughout the year. Let it teach you to take action toward your dream for 2013.

I’d love hear about your successes and discoveries!   Please feel free to post a comment below!

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