Romantic Relationships that Prepare Us for True Love

Our “in the meantime relationships” before meeting our true love actually prepares us for that right relationship. In these relationships our stories are mirrored to us, as every person that stands before us is our mirror.

These relationships that are preparing us cause us to question everything, especially ourselves. We ask why, what could I have done differently and we continue to “beat ourselves up”. Instead, we could look inward and ask:

What have I learned about myself?

What is the lesson or gold nugget that I am taking away from this experience?

Every relationship gives us the opportunity to do our soul work. The purpose of this journey is not to find someone to complete us, but to discover ourselves. I know that with each of my relationships I have more understanding, depth, authenticity and honesty.   I am willing to look at my shadow parts with love and acceptance.

For me life is a journey where I am always growing, transforming, shedding my fears and weaknesses. I know that if I devote my heart to discovering what I am here to learn, I can be my own best friend and love myself.

It is that self-love that allows me to come to my relationships in a healthy place with so much more to give. It allows me to be with my best friend not attached or dependent on this person.

There are no fears and there is no jealousy, no doubt, no guilt, no judgment—just being.

With each relationship we have the opportunity to grow and learn. We are also invited to keep our heart open to love while practicing forgiveness and compassion. Remember forgiveness is for us to release our fears and judgments.

This allows us to experience greater love each time until we meet the person who also has an open heart in which we can deeply connect with acceptance, love, compassion and authenticity.

Please comment below. I would love to hear about your experiences. For more tips on living a stress free life, clean eating or relationships sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above.

Don’t take it Personal if the Relationship Does Not Work Out

Once (or twice) in a lifetime you meet someone who takes your breath away. It is someone who you connect with emotionally, physically, and spiritually. It is one of those soul-to-soul connections that only two souls know. Although you try hard to “take it slow”, it is a fast and deep connection like none other that you have felt before. Everyone has baggage that comes with the relationships and it will come out. You can only take responsibility for your actions and reactions.

Honest, clear communication is the best path to take in these relationships. While you may think you clearly communicated something through the written word of emails, text or letters, it may very well be interpreted differently then you meant it. Nothing beats honest, heart to heart, face-to-face conversations. You give your heart and soul away and in the end come back to yourself heartbroken.

Just a note, please don’t have significant conversations with any alcohol as this will only escalate feelings and fears. That means not even a glass of wine! Don’t involve anyone else (yours or his friends) even if the person claims to just be trying to “help” you so you don’t get hurt.

I know I have been there. I have made my share of mistakes and got caught up in rumors. I have been caught up in other people’s stuff and have been triggered. While we all have said things or done things we are not proud of, this does not mean you are a terrible or evil person.

This is about trusting yourself and your partner. It is about trusting that all will work out for both you. It is about being impeccable to your word, not taking anything personal (easier said than done), not making assumptions, and doing your best. It is about being able to not react when those trigger points are pushed or at the very least, recovering quickly enough to heal another layer or shadow. It is about the willingness to look at our shadows and learn from them.

More importantly, when you make mistakes or let your fears get the best of you DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP!!!! You are only human. Don’t blame or judge anyone. Just own it, make amends if you need to and go heal yourself.

These are life experiences on our journey. This is the time of year to let go of the things we cannot change (other people, their reactions, etc). It is a time to reflect and move forward realigning your heart, soul, words and actions to be the best person you can be and move forward.

Jeff Brown is the author of “Soulshaping: A Journey of Self-Creation,” wrote an article about why some relationships just don’t work. It is very profound and has given me peace when my heart and soul had been shattered. As you read through this, realize that not every break up is personal even though it hurts.

Although it may feel like it is all you, most likely it is not!!

 

WHY SOME RELATIONSHIPS DON’T WORK OUT

Sometimes people walk away from love because it is so beautiful that it terrifies them.

Sometimes they leave because the connection shines a bright light on their dark places and they are not ready to work them through.

Sometimes they run away because they are not developmentally prepared to merge with another – they have more individuation work to do first.

Sometimes they take off because love is not a priority in their lives – they have another path and purpose to walk first.

Sometimes they end it because they prefer a relationship that is more practical than conscious, one that does not threaten the ways that they organize reality.

Because so many of us carry shame, we have a tendency to personalize love’s leavings, triggered by the rejection and feelings of abandonment.

But this is not always true. Sometimes it has nothing to do with us. Sometimes the one who leaves is just not ready to hold it safe.

Sometimes they know something we don’t – they know their limits at that moment in time.

Real love is no easy path – readiness is everything.

May we grieve loss without personalizing it.

May we learn to love ourselves in the absence of the lover.

by JEFF BROWN

art by Autumn Skye ART

Please comment below. I would love to hear about your experiences. For more tips on living a stress free life, clean eating or relationships sign up for my FREE audio and ebook above.

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